Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Sometimes I find myself responding a certain way, interacting in a mindless manner, and I have realized that I'm not being myself. I've fallen into habits that I don't even consider changing. It just doesn't even occur to me.
I fell into a serious relationship at an awfully young age. And I think I stopped growing.
I went into some sort of freeze.
Maybe I felt trapped?
I take responsibility for myself.
I don't blame it on anyone else.
But, I don't think that relationship was healthy for me. For either of us.
I don't feel like we brought out the best in each other.
And so, I've decided that relationships leave behind an invisible footprint, somewhat like gunshot residue
It coats you.
It identifies you...but it can be washed away.
I'm trying to wash it away at the moment.
And figure out who I am alone.
Who I want to be..
It's scary..and yet exciting..
It's overwhelming...and yet freeing.
I love metaphors.