Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Everything you didn't want to know.

My dog barfed last night.
Then re-ate it.

Such efficiency.





Of course, before she re-ate it,
my elderly father managed to roll right through it with his rolling walker.

The whole experience had me laughing so hard I couldn't see
because of the tears in my eyes.

Sometimes you have to laugh...
so you don't cry...
although I seemed to have managed both.



I was a fugitive from the law for two months.
My inspection sticker expired.

And every time I passed a cop, I felt guilty.
And bad.
And I tried to avoid them.

One time I drove through a school zone,
and a cop helping out there yelled out at me as I passed.

I know what it feels like to be a fugitive.



My seven-year-old wrote a song last night.
He and his friends are forming a band...
a band that plans to practice at my house.






Here's part of the song he wrote:

I like pie.
I don't know why.
It makes me cry
at the end of July
and what's why.
I don't know why.
I like pie.




I'm thinking I need to become a high paid artist.
Did you know you could decide such a thing and it just happens?
That's my plan.

I want to make Car Art.
A huge car sculpture people will come from all over the world to see.




If you could be an artist at the snap of my fingers,
what kind of art would you like to create?


22 comments:

Rocksee said...

Oh my girly! I have some visuals now!

CrystalChick said...

Been there soooo many times with the dog vomit and the cat hair balls and just stuff of every origin being trampled over on the floors, overlooked, walked past, ignored..... Mom will get it....

Arrrggghhhh. LOL

Hmmm.... what kind of art would I do??? Well, I already am getting into some jewelry making and handmade cards but they aren't really too technical. I mean, I've taught myself the basics.

I might like you to snap your fingers and have me be a world renown pottery artist maybe??

Screwed Up Texan said...

My registration was out for over a month...and now the new sticker we got is sitting in the dashboard next to the front shield b/c I dont want to screw up sticking the new sticker on. If I get pulled over for it, I'll tell the cop to put the sticker on for me.

If I could be any kind of artist, I think I'd like to be an acrylic or watercolor painter. Or heck, I'd like to paint murals. Wait, does it matter if I already do that?

If I could snap my fingers and grant your wish, that is what I'd do.

Karen said...

Oh... I just hate the way dogs eat their own barf or eat the cat's poop in the litter box and then want to give you a big sloppy kiss !!!

Dragon art ... I'd like to create some whimsical dragons out of all sorts of different stuff.. maybe a dragon car? I've always wanted to drive around in a car that looks like a dragon..

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

OMG, gross Annie! But then again, you saved Mommy some of the clean-up.

Go Remy. That song ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!

I can't even draw a stick figure correctly. I'm lucky I can print my own name.

Justine :o )

Sprite's Keeper said...

At the snap of my fingers? What kind of art? (I read this to my husband and he just said "Fart art". I can't continue this comment in clear conscience.)

Jennifer said...

A dog that cleans up after itself! *gag* At least there's a sweet face to make up for it.

I would love to be able to take more interesting photographs. So many people take these amazing pictures, and edit them in ways that blow my mind!

Lula! said...

OK, so when I beg for Annie stories, know that I don't really mean Annie Eats Her Own Barf stories.

I still love her.

Did she brush her teeth, though?

p.s. Snap your fingers and create me some art...bring the statue of David to life. Ahem.

Linda said...

And Annie still looks so sweet even though she does those disgusting dog things. Like mine ... she's sitting at my feet farting right now. Gotta love 'em.

Great song lyrics ... would love to hear the music along with this!

Snap my fingers and create art? I"d go big ... murals and sculpture.

Sally-Ann said...

I hope that Annie is feeling better!
I would like to be able to paint portraits.
A guy has made a stonehenge(spelling?) of sorts out of silver caravans down the interstate a little ways from our house. Not very attractive, but a definate talking point.

Susie said...

I would be a cake artist:-)

Shannon said...

I once let my tags expire... I think it was a few months before I got the new one. I was told they were expired by the officer who was behind me in the Hardee's drive-thru one morning. Oops.

Shannon said...

Oh, I forgot to answer the question.

Impressionism art is my fave... so if I could be an artist, I'd want to paint just like Renoir.

Live.Love.Eat said...

That pie song is hysterical. I would totally buy it. I want to make food art!

Jen said...

the dog puke and rolling walker is just cracking me up.

M said...

My husband and I live only an hour from Cadillac Ranch. Although I've only been once... and I didn't even remember Spray Paint, I got some great shots. It's a heck of a place to stop on a long road trip, or a lazy day in town!

I suppose if I could create any art, I'd want to be able to make a quilt with mad skills and not ever having to sit through a class. I think quilts can tell beautiful stories and if I don't ever get to write children's books, that'll be what I want to produce.

Ritch in Love said...

snorted my water when I read the second sentence! Too funny! Then I read the part about the walker and had to force myself to swallow the water that was still in my mouth!

Mama Dawg said...

Murals. For sure.

And my doesn't eat his own barf. Just the cats.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Fascinating stuff, all of it. My kitties eat each others' puke. Lovely! I think I'd want to be a talented painter.

Jennifer said...

I have seen my dog eat worse..I won't go into details but lets just say if you are ever over at my house...don't let the dog lick you on the face.

Just stopping by to say thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. I always really appreciate them.

Herry said...

very informative details thanks for that, nice article

SKELLER said...

I'm sorry. I'm totally laughing at your Annie story. But I'll make it up to you: last week my dog ate some sort of large-sized rodent while he was hanging out in our backyard on the sly. How do I know? He threw it up in the house. oh yah. ick.

I love the song lyrics!! :-)