Friday, November 14, 2008

They're Baaaaack.

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I don't like decimals and fractions. Give me a whole number any time of the day, and I can add, multiply, and divide that bad boy any which way. But, fractions? And decimals? They irritate me.

Don't get me wrong, I can do it. I've had calculus. I've kicked butt in the math department. No, literally, I got into a drop down fight with a nerdy TA in my college pre-calculus class...just kidding. That's a lie. I do that sometimes, lie. It's my fiction writer popping out to make boring writing more interesting.

Anyway, back to decimals and fractions. It was around 6am. I was irritated with Donny, my 11 yr old, for leaving some homework til morning. Now we were slightly rushed, and I was having to intervene because he and his dad, Texas Homeboy, were raising voices and clearly not playing well. So, the peace maker has to step in and help out. Plus, I'm the math genius (not).

I looked over the math sheet. I was surprised I had to get involved at all, because Donny IS a little math genius. He loves math. He kicks butt at math. Figuratively, as far as I know.

Ok, so, they're cross-multiplying fractions and decimals. One variable is missing from the equation, so that's X. They're just trying to find X. I can handle that. Then the next group of numbers switches where the X is situated. That's thrown Donny off. I try to explain, and he looks at me like I'm speaking Latin. Wait...I think I was. Ok, sorry.

He still looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language. What the heck? This should be easy as pie for him. I explain things much clearer than his father. I don't raise my voice.

Donny bursts into tears.

My mouth drops open. When I can think again, I ask, "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

He tells me, "I don't know."

I say, "Donny, sometimes we all just need to cry, to get our feelings out. It's ok."

And then, suddenly I get it.

I look around the room suspiciously. At first there's nothing. No hint of their arrival. Then I spy one hiding under the couch...the other is hanging from my ceiling fan. And the third one? He enters the room juggling smelly cleats like a goth-circus clow.

The hormone brothers are back.

"We warned you to be ready," the dramatic one said theatrically, throwing his arms out.
"You knew we were coming back," whispered the nerdy one, pulling up his pants.
"Yo, biotch, we're in the house," yelled the scary one, gesturing and narrowing his eyes at me.

"But, but...it's 6am!" I manage to speak.

"Time waits for no one," the dramatic one sighed tragically.

"I don't understand, he knows math, he's smart, this is EASY, and things have been fine," I said.

I think the nerdy one took pity on me. "Yes, but you see, it was time. These things happen on a logarithmic equation."

"You got a problem with that?" snarled the menacing one. He scares me. He took a few steps toward me...and then suddenly, they all vanished.

And I was left staring at my boy. My sweet boy, who went to school, and later in the day, when he was home again, he apologized for the morning drama. He admitted he understood what I was telling him about the homework, but that he just couldn't help it, he was feeling difficult.

We hugged and all was good again in the Texas Word Tangle household.

But I'm on the lookout now. I know those guys will rear their heads again when I least expect it.

43 comments:

Ritch in Love said...

I dread the day my kids come to me with Math questions...I'm in deep trouble when it comes to mathematics!

Lauren W said...

Oh my... those hormone brothers sound like trouble... They are certainly no bueno.

Nik said...

ACK!! HELP!!! Cowboy isn't that far behind Donny in age - say it ain't so!!!!

I think that's so sweet that he came home and apologized, it might have eaten at him a bit all day.

What's funny is that YOU were the first to "Do the Math" and figure out the demons were back and that it didn't click for your hubby.

sassy stephanie said...

Ew. I so don't want to go there. Can I stay in the peeing the pants stage?

How sweet that he later owned up to his actions and talked with you about the situation.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

How funny... this is what my post today is going to be about....

I thought boys were supposed to be easier with all this.

StarbuckBitch said...

I was good at math until about age 15...I am so screwed when I have to help with homework...that being said, we decided to try to have kids...thanks for all the comment love:-)

Lynette said...

How funny that you realized what was happening. I would have been totally lost. Cool mom!
Funny those cohorts sisters never really bothered college girl as she was growing up. But their mom's are giving me dickens when messing with my inner body thermoneter.

Mama Dawg said...

So, parents of girls are NOT the only ones that have to go through hormonal hell? So glad to hear it.

Kelly said...

I Freaking love the Hormone Brothers! I totally agree with mama dawg. I had no idea that boys also go through the hormone hell that teenage girls go through!! Good to know, thanks!

Sidney (Sixy Mama) said...

Oh Lordy...they made it? I was sure after they visited my house last night that they'd not bother anyone...I guess after my 13-yr old son cussed me out and threw an empty plastic water bottle at me, then was just sweet as pie after eating dinner (that's the key...fill 'em up!), they figured they had some energy to spare!

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Ya gotta love Math and Hormones on a Friday!

HAPPY FRIDAY!

- Jennifer

Jen said...

Poor Donny, I totally understand those hormones (well, I understand girly hormones not so much boy but you get what I mean) and yes sometimes you just need to cry.

Valarie said...

Take those hormone brothers and times them by ten and thats what the hormone sisters are like!

Kat said...

Oh my goodness. I wrote about this a few months ago. My math genius just could not get a math problem. And there was a lot of tears. So much so that I made her go to her room to calm down. And NO school was accomplished that day. I think that Donny and Katie really need to meet :-) But they need to leave their hormones at home...

blissfullycaffeinated said...

Well, my poor kids are SOL in the mom-math-help department. We'll have to hire tutors.

Those hormone brothers sound scary. I wouldn't mess around with them too much!

P.S. I have an award for you over at my place. :)

SKELLER said...

Hmmm. Been there, done that scene at my home, too. Tho, I don't think I handled myself or the situation as well as you did.
Good job, Mom.

Susie said...

Those kids are like little chemistry projects.

gingela5 said...

Oh I HATE math problems with fractions. That would make me cry too!

TerriRainer said...

You skeeeer me with your vivid reenactments of visits from the hormone boys! Thank God I only have one son...WAIT!!! I have four daughters...OH dear God I am a dead woman.

:) Terri

Swirl Girl said...

that.explains.everything.

Kally said...

Oh my, Math woes! We are going through the same thing at my house minus the hormone bros or sisters in my case (thank god).

Good luck! And have a great weekend :)

Marrdy said...

Oh poor Donny. Those hormones brothers are a real pain.

Captain Dumbass said...

STOP WITH THE MATH TALK! IT BURNS!

I love your hormone brothers. That is such an awesome idea.

Twisted Fencepost said...

Be thankful you don't have girls!!

everyday mom said...

You were above me in SITS and I thought I would come visit, LOL, I love your hormone brothers can't we all relate to that

the mama bird diaries said...

Algebra? No problem.
Geometry? I'm totally screwed.

TattooedMinivanMom said...

I was always pretty good with Algebra...hormones not so much.

Britt said...

When those punks show up at my house, I'm knocking them in the nuts and locking the door.

Wait .. I think I'll be getting Hormone Sisters, right? Never mind then...

Poor Donny. I remember those days .. except I totally wasn't understanding what my mom was saying about math. And my dad explained it in the softer tones. Until I continued to get difficult. Then we all got loud, together. Thankfully I didn't stay 13 forever :o)

Cerulean Blue said...

mathis a horrible terrible no good very bad thing... poor donny!

Indy said...

Not looking forward to math homework or hormones. Enough to make me cry.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Not the hormone brothers! During math, no less. Do you want me to kick their asses? Cause I can.

OHmommy said...

Oh poor handsome Donny.

;) Give him a hug for me. Okay.

Adrian said...

I totally embarassed myself the other day. I got in an argument with my 5th grader a math problem. I finally had to have my 19 year old arbitrate. Turns out he was right and I was wrong. I am the most educated person in our household and I can't even do 5th grade math properly!

John Deere Mom said...

Oh yuck. Hormones are nasty little creatures that tend to make a grand entrance into my classroom mid-January. Thanks for the reminder!

Jennifer said...

first of all you are the BEST mom!!! :)

secondly you are a really awesome writer!! Although I think I've told you that before... you should hear it again and again and again and again... over and over... b/c you are really awesome!! :)

third ~ you put into words what is one of the hardest things to describe or sometimes figure out... HORMONES!! I have to share this story with my mom ... she will appreciate it b/c of my 12 y.o. nephew. :) thanks for the reminder that they are having a rough time too, and can't always control what is going on... and that, of course, boys have hormones to deal with too!! :)

have a great day!!
and give an extra hug to Donny for me!!

xoxoxoxo

Carol said...

What a great post! I lived through raising two sons....hormone brothers and all!! Hang in there!

You're a great writer. Congrats on your POD award~~

lizzy-loo said...

hey, visiting from authorblog. i have an 11 hormone boy in my house and surprise - his name is remy! it is a tough time for him and for me. hang in there. we will all make it.

Sandi McBride said...

Thankfully by the time male menopause strikes him you'll be so whacked out by your own you won't notice...great post. Congrats on the Post of the Day!
Sandi

richies said...

We home schooled our son until he was in the 10th grade. When it came time for 9th grade Algebra, my wife told me that was my department. I remember the difficulty of explaining to my son why we were even bothering with this. He saw no need to find out what "x" was.

Congrats on the post of the day!!

An Arkie's Musings

lmerie said...

LOL - they have been at my house too! yesterday and last Thursday! As I stood with my mouth hanging open in shock, I wondered if pamprin worked on boys!!

Hehe - great post! Came by way of David's - congrats on POTD!

Moannie said...

Oh dear! Think those boys used to hang around my no.one and only son.

That the gods my kids knew better than to ask for my help with math. I had, and still have a mental block for anything more difficult than fractions. Still, I got by, though it might have been a great deal easier had I had one parent or teacher who could clear it all up for me.

Jeff B said...

I think those little turkeys have ding dong ditched our house a couple of times just to let us know they're on their way soon.

Loved the way you told this truthful tale. Congrats too on POTD!

mielikki said...

we've a teenage girl in our household. She has been instructed to go to her Dad with the math problems. To me x is just another alphabet letter.
But the hormones. So thick in here at times I can't see through them...
great post