Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A Conversation like No Other





Remember how I was convinced that our impromptu visit to the corn fields resulted in my children's bodies being taken over by Aliens?

Well, this story isn't like that.
It's much weirder.

As I was driving around today, looking for my missing She-Ra Brain,
I was blinded by a bright pink light on a back-country road near some railroad tracks.





Thinking this suspicious phenomenon had to be related to my She-Ra Brain,
I immediately pulled over to check it out.





That's Annie with me. She loves going for rides.




I bet her brain has never popped out all Athena-like
and turned into an '80s cartoon character.

Anyone want to take that bet? No?


Anyway, I was a woman on a mission, so I set off down these railroad tracks.





And pretty soon, I came upon this scene,
which practically caused me to pee in my pants.

I'm glad I left Annie in the car.




The Unicorn was about to tear the Griffin's wings off, when I stepped in.

"Big, mythical creatures, why are you fighting?"

The Griffin said, "Because I thought McCain did the best in the debate tonight."

The Unicorn snorted, "Hell no, Obama kicked butt!"

They glared at each other.

"Dudes, don't fight over politicians!" I shouted. "They're so not worth it!"

"Oh, really, then how do you expect to solve all our country's problems?" the Griffin asked.

Huh. That's a good question, I thought. Without my She-Ra brain, I wasn't sure.
I was going to have to BS the best I could to get out of this one.

"I know, let's vote Pioneer Woman to be our new president!" I said. "She'll cook the best meals for the whole country and take awesome photos of calf nuts for the whole world to see! Calf nuts bring about world peace, you know."

"If we're voting for bloggers, then I choose Black Hockey Jesus," said the Griffin, shooting fire out of it's nose. "He talks to dead people."

"I heard OHMommy was going to put her vote on the candidate who sat best on a stool," said the Unicorn thoughtfully. "Anyone who can coordinate her three children's clothing while traveling through Poland is mighty impressive."

"OH, my good friend Kat would be a great leader! She could whip this country into shape in no time and she'd put free peanut M&M dispensers on every street corner!"

"And, who are YOU again?" asked the Unicorn.

Well, I'm not big like those bloggers, but I'm Rhea, from Texas Word Tangle. Look, here are the new business cards that Darcy made for me."




And with that, the Griffin and the Unicorn wandered off,
my new business cards tucked in their pockets.

Aren't they awesome?

I want to go up in a hot air balloon and toss them into the sky!

Let Texas Word Tangle rain down on everyone!!




And, yes, I've lost it.

Until I find my She-Ra Brain again, you're stuck with weird posts like this.

This is the closest to a political post I'm gonna get.

I'm in love with my new cards. Do you have something new you like?
Did you watch the debates?
Have you seen any mythical creatures lately or my She-Ra Brain?


48 comments:

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Dude! Your brain is whack seeing orange Griffins and pink unicorns on a train track.

EVERYONE knows GRIFFINS are really PINK and UNICORNS are really ORANGE and they ride the SUBWAY not the train!

American in Norway said...

Lovin your cards!! My brain is still hurting from yesterday so I am going to have to go back and re read this post...
Muah!!

Justine said...

Omg! You've gone over the edge! Someone call the guys with funny jackets and spruce up the padded cell, 'cause here comes Rhea! Holy shit girl, this just cracked me up, because it was WAY out there. ROFL!

And OMG, I've never heard of anyone having blogger "business" cards made. That's awesome! Are you really going to hand them out? How much did it cost you to have them made? I wanna do it dammit!

Do I have something new I like? Umm... Ummm.... Yeah, my new Motorola heather grape cell phone. Like it much better than the Razor.

I watched about 20 minutes of the debate until my eyes started crossing in confusion and I turned it off.

No, I haven't seen no damn mythical creatures around these parts.

Check up your fanny for your She-Ra brain. That's my only advice! LOL
And hurry up and come by my blog and make your guesses before I reveal results!

Justine :o )

Justine said...

Omg! You've gone over the edge! Someone call the guys with funny jackets and spruce up the padded cell, 'cause here comes Rhea! Holy shit girl, this just cracked me up, because it was WAY out there. ROFL!

And OMG, I've never heard of anyone having blogger "business" cards made. That's awesome! Are you really going to hand them out? How much did it cost you to have them made? I wanna do it dammit!

Do I have something new I like? Umm... Ummm.... Yeah, my new Motorola heather grape cell phone. Like it much better than the Razor.

I watched about 20 minutes of the debate until my eyes started crossing in confusion and I turned it off.

No, I haven't seen no damn mythical creatures around these parts.

Check up your fanny for your She-Ra brain. That's my only advice! LOL
And hurry up and come by my blog and make your guesses before I reveal results!

Justine :o )

Jen said...

you are totally crakcing me up, I don't know if I want to you find your brain.

All Things BD said...

Your new cards are awesome!!

Living on the Spit said...

L-O-V-E the business cards and yes, I want some too! Hmmm, I also seem to have something new that I love and this week it would have to be my fall Yankee Candle melts. I did not watch the debates...c'mon, I HAD to watch 90210 and Priveledged because you know I have that pesky princess argument going on in my brain. Mythical creatures...no, I stick to the royalty! Great post and thanks for making me laugh on a beautiful hump day morning.

Lula! said...

I love your mind. Want to ride on an airplane with me sometime in the future? Think of the fun we'll have...

I am digging your cards. And the fighting Griffin and Unicorn. And your brain.

Something new that I'm liking a lot is "The Eight." Whoa. Halfway through it. Good stuff.

Did not watch the debates...I was puking. NOT pregnant. Just took new meds that did not agree with my constitutions.

I have not seen any mythical creatures. But my house is haunted. It's not an old house--less than 4 years of age, but we live next to a cemetary. We see dead people. Not even kidding. They're friendly, though...just reminding us that they are there, we are here, and it's OK for all of us to live in close proximity and harmony.

Yep.

Kat said...

Who mentioned me as a great leader? The Griffin? The unicorn? Or the woman without a brain? Wait. Wait. Yeah. That's what I thought.

I am in line to get business cards. I cannot wait. I tell people about my blog - now I can had them a card. And when people ask you what you do (or what have you been up to lately) - I can say I'm a writer (giggling on the inside, because, really?!) - and hand them my card so they can check out my work (drivel - I wish I could use strike in comments!).

Do I have anything else new? Ummm...I got my swap stuff and I am posting about that tomorrow. I know what else you got new...can't wait for you to post about your latest order!

sassy stephanie said...

Sometimes I think I am a mythical creature. Nothing else would explain the weirdness that is my life lately.

Love your new cards! Are you handing those out to neighbors? ha!

OHmommy said...

Oh Rhea. I would love to crawl into your brain for a day. Unicorns in a political conversation. You are awesome. ;)

Love your new cards. Great colors and graphics.

Michelle said...

Yes, I watched the debate last night... through my eyelids. It was THAT boring!

Thanks for stopping by on your BATW layover!

Amy said...

Love the cards.

Watched the debate, I hate politics though. Ugghh!

Funny post :D

Sally-Ann said...

The only mythical thing at our house is sanity!
Love your cards!
Watched some of the debate. Makes me want to scream and run around the yard naked, so turned it off to avoid arrest.

http://wombatsinthebelfry.blogspot.com

jenboglass said...

Love those business cards! Love the photoshop skills! You're so creative it kills me!

Ashley. Unscripted... said...

You're hilarious! Love it.

And I love the cards too. Your blog is so pretty!

Mama Dawg said...

Watched the debates, got disgusted, grabbed a glass of wine and watched the end of Beverly Hills 90210 season 4 on DVD. So glad Brenda's gone. Whew.

Haven't seen your brain, sorry!

Anna Lefler said...

Love it! I grew up in Texas so I feel right at home on your blog. And your new business cards are divine.

Congrats on getting your short story published - that's awesome!

Thanks for visiting my blog - I hope you'll be a regular, because I'll be a regular here for sure!

:^) Anna

Mind of MadMan said...

Yes I watched the debates and seeing characters?? when don't I!!!!

gingela5 said...

You saw a unicorn?! I'm so jealous--and it was PINK! DOUBLE-JEALOUS! I did not watch the debates last night--I'm kind of sick of this whole politics thing! And cute business cards!

goodfather said...

OK, confession time. I got this IM from Pocko (my muse/hand puppet/now-sentient-being):

pocko: hanging out with hot She-Ra brain, ttyl.

I haven't heard from him since. Knowing Pocko (::wink::) it could be days.

scargosun said...

Dude what are you on and can I have some. ;)

Seriously though, I think my vote is for BHJ too.

Cristin said...

I'm a little lost, apparently so are you...

;)

Kally said...

OMG! I am cracking up!

I love your cards...super cute!

Haven't seen any mythical creatures lately. Maybe I should be on the look-out?

Insane Mama said...

I have some great meds, would you like me to send them to you? I will. I have bird poop in my clothes and my life is a bit frazzled, that's all I got

Live.Love.Eat said...

Wow Rhea, you've outdone yourself !!!!! I love this much better than a political post. Love the cards.

newlyweds said...

Ha, your hilarious! I like your way of thinking!!

Elaine A. said...

I like my new trouser jeans I bought last weekend. So cute! Now if I just had somewhere to wear them... ; )

I watched the debates but my vote is still going to the same person it was before.

Good post.

Vodka Mom said...

Did you sneak into my martini jar?

Krystyn said...

Oh, Rhea...you've definitely lost it!

Love the cards.

for a different kind of girl said...

I got nothing. Well, I got a stomach virus which, until now, I had blamed on my youngest son and the explosion he went through last night, but now, I think I'll blame it on having sat through that debate last night, praying for Tom Brokaw to go old school on those two.

Susie said...

What a creative way to share some linky love with your fellow blogger. Your brain certainly works uniquely:-)

Karen said...

I love the new cards. As far as your She-ra brain.....can't say that I've seen it. I'll keep an eye for it. No worries though, you didn't need it for last nights debate.

Zen Ventures said...

She-Ra rah rah rah!!! you rah-ck! Good thing you're not bah-rahk! LOL! sorry can't help the rah rah part :)
I like your BC too. Cutie! c'mon fork one over. Now if you win the earrings in my promo, they'll go well with your she-Ra outfit! ;)

Ritch in Love said...

That was hilarious! Nice to meet you!

Jennifer P. said...

You didn't happen to eat any "magical mushrooms" on your walk down the tracks, did you :)?! you are too funny! And BUSINESS CARDS?! How cool are you?!

Don't worry about posting on the package--I'm just glad you enjoyed it! It was fun to get you! I looked and looked for pink cowboy hat things and couldn't find anything. Darn! :)

The Stiletto Mom said...

Where is this place that you had such a moment? I also live North of Dallas and am need of unicorns and such. Seriously, give me directions...I'll go there tomorrow bc that debate damn near killed me.

Sammanthia said...

I watched the debate and mocked the candidates... that's as political as I get. I like your unicorns better.

Captain Dumbass said...

I WANT one of those cards!

And if I see your brain up here I'll put a toque on it and send it back home.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Have you been gluing a lot of things lately? Or eaten any funky brownies? ;o)

The Cotton Wife said...

Politicians are SO not worth it! Thank you for expressing that!!

And I covet your car. Lurve it.

Karen said...

LOL ... your brain is certainly having a wild party at the moment :-)


I like my new lipstick, it's pretty, natural looking colour ..

I sort of watched the debates ...

Yeah ... I see dragons everywhere ...

Monogramchick said...

What a fun post Rhea!
I love the new cards, they look awesome.
I take Bailey to ride in the car with me all the time, he loves it!
I wish I had something new that I love, we are going to Chicago this weekend and I am on the quest for a new purse, mabye that will be my new thing that I love :)
Have a great day!

CrystalChick said...

Love the biz cards, but they don't say CRAZY WOMAN anywhere on them!! ;0

I watch the debates altho I don't really know why. My mind has been made up for a very long time. I'm going with the Unicorn.

Pink Ink said...

Wow, you have quite the imagination!! :-) I love your blog and posts...so vivid and refreshing.

I have new clogging shoes. Whenever I see them, I smile wide like a kid.

LiteralDan said...

I call Secretary of State! Woo! First!

Something new I like: My new job as Secretary of State.

And I have been watching all the debates-- very frustrating...

angela | the painted house said...

You, my dear, are NUTS! You must have been smokin' some doobage to come up with this post. I love imagining some unicorn sitting in his mist-filled castle getting all ticked because his giant hooves can't type out your blog address from your nifty card.

Angie's Spot said...

Those cards are awesome! I almost printed something like that a couple of weeks ago, but chickened out. I couldn't decide who I would give them to. And then I decided maybe I would just start leaving them all around town. Hmm...

I have watched 2 of the debates and my only comment is that it's time I'll never get back. Sigh.