Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Intergalactic Mediation

Once upon a time, there were two adorable little angelic boys.
They could do no wrong.
They were sweet, and they knew how to be good and love their mama.


Then one day, their mama took them into a corn field
to satisfy her whimsy for corn field photos.

Little did they realize the dangers of this field trip.

Because, after this, nothing was ever the same.

The two sweet, angeltic boys turned into hellions.
They began to sass their mama and fight each other.
The bewildered mama had no idea what had happened?
Surely aliens had taken over their bodies.
These were not HER children anymore.



If only the answer was that simple.

Alas, she couldn't blame it on aliens,

her husband Texas Homeboy said, "It's just the way boys are sometimes."

He explained her new job:



The poor, confused, utterly-perfect-in-every-way mama took her new role seriously,

along with a prescription for Xanax,

but still harbored secret affirmation that these children...

had been victims of an alien experiement.

No one had warned her that she was in training for Intergalactic mediation. It's hard work keeping aliens satisfied.

No one believes her. But she knows the truth.

The truth is out there.

Somewhere.

Maybe.


36 comments:

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

The same thing happened to my kids and they haven't been anywhere near a corn field.
I think it's in the water...

├╝berburber said...

This post is out there! I'm scared.

Jules said...

So okay, I think your aliens have relatives visiting at my house.

You know the expression "Who are you and what have you done with my kids"? Well it fits my situation EXACTLY! LOL

Jules said...

And I've just realized something....... am I number 12,000 on you site counter! Wow!

Living on the Spit said...

I think this post is wonderful and I told you...the story continues...I have days like those and most of the time they are literally weeks or months or even years. I swear, my oldest, Senior Sorority Girl...she is the polar opposite of me and at times I felt that she was either (a) an alien life form or (b) that I had picked up someone else's baby at the hospital...yeah, that must be it because who takes Algebra for high school credit in the 7th grade and majors in molecular biology in college WHILE having perfect hair (and painted toes to match flip flops...tehe...love ya Rhea!)?

Jen said...

You are too funny. But something tells me that you are entering the lovely phase of a pre-teen and then the dreaded teenager. I hope you find your boys soon. :)

angie said...

ha ha ha. The first picture is so precious!

Angie's Spot said...

More great graphics! Now, does this affliction transfer through email or internet? I only ask because my girls have come down with it also this summer, but we didn't visit any cornfields. ???

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, girl. So sorry to hear about that. One more reason I'm glad I have only one. Once school starts, it'll probably get better...or not!

Krystyn said...

I'm pretty sure all kids are abducted at some point in their lives...why else the drastic change?

Jennifer said...

no way! do you think if you take them back to the corn field that might fix things?? ;)

i'm not sure at all then what has happened to my children... they have never been to a corn field, but they are definitley acting like aliens have taken over thier bodies, minds and spirits!! lol

they have been up before 7 AM every morning lately and have been fighting with one another but actually really behaving well out in public... KNOCK ON WOOD... NOW please!!! lol

this is definitley how children act... your Texas homeboy is right. :)

they love you and one another so one day soon they will be able to stop the voices coming from the alien planet and be back to the good ol' Donny & Remy!! :)

xoxoxoxoxo

Valarie said...

I know exactly what you are talking about! This has happened to me twice so far. At some point at around 18 they will return back to a semi normal state of being, but with the added bonus of all the adult knowledge they will ever need. ;)

Veggie Mom said...

Funny, funny--I LOVE the photoshop expertise goin' on here! College Girl went out to visit a friend in Iowa recently. They went to see the Field of Dreams house, field, and, of course, field. I've got some cute snaps of her emerging from the corn, just like Shoeless Joe Jackson. You're right--the truth is out there...somewhere!

Lula! said...

All's I know is this: corn, aliens, and Xanax have never been juxtaposed as brilliantly. You are a hilarious genius. And supermom.

Karen said...

When you find the truth, let me know! I think we may have a few victims at our house too.

This was a fun post. Good luck with your new job. Seems like the "victims" become critics of on the job performance as "judge, jury and executioner." :)

Justine said...

ROFL! So you're blaming regular boyhood dramas on the corn field? Tooooooooooo funny! My girls are 11 and 7 and they fight allllllllll the time now, whereas a couple of years ago neither could do wrong in the other's eyes. Ah, how age changes them.

Justine :o )

sassy stephanie said...

That is hilarious!

I must have given birth to my three in a corn field if this theory is true. Only, I don't remember. Must be the drugs.

Is Annie new in your header? I don't remember seeing her there before. Or is it the drugs again?

SKELLER said...

hehehehahahahahahohohohoooooo.....

Love the commentary (We love you Mama - You're the Best!!!) and Homeboy's bit of wisdom & insight. Reminds me of the post I have sitting in my queu, where Big Dude tells me one of the facts of life with boys...

Insane Mama said...

Corn does weird stuff...

embrace your xanax (and send me e few)

Heather said...

They WILL take over the world. I just know it.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hmmmm. I need to go do a couple shots and come back to this post :)

Elaine A. said...

Well, the aliens do like to make crop circles. Maybe they just stopped by your corn field on the way and possessed the kids for a bit.

p.s. this is my future, isn't it?

TentCamper said...

Corn fields are good to just drop the kids in the middle and then leave them...have a drink and relax while they try to find their way out. They will calm down after the first few hours.

Then again...alien kids are EVERYWHERE!

TentCamper said...

Corn fields are good to just drop the kids in the middle and then leave them...have a drink and relax while they try to find their way out. They will calm down after the first few hours.

Then again...alien kids are EVERYWHERE!

i beati said...

school soon sk

ann said...

yeah, when you get that figured out, let me know.

ann said...

yeah, when you get that figured out, let me know.

Angela said...

How precious is that first photo??? I mean, really!

Lane Boyz Mom said...

The SAME thing happened to my two boys, hmmmmm......lol

CrystalChick said...

This explains alot. I wonder about mine.... and it's been alien experimentation the whole time!!
Hey, can I have some Xanax??

CrystalChick said...

OH now I think you have been abducted by aliens and they fooled around with your blog commenter list. Dang it. I was wayyyy up there too and now I'm totally off the list. :(
Me very sad.

Vicki is Not So SAHM said...

Love your graphics. My 18 month old must have been in that same corn field. When can we have them tested for alien DNA?

Shannon said...

This must have been what happened to my girls! Finally, I have an explanation!

Kat said...

Okay...so I have started to read this post 47 times today. And been distracted. By what you ask? Well...let me tell you. I have long been convinced I am raising demon children. And they were in their prime today. My throat is hoarse. But now I know there might be another explanation. I hadn't considered aliens.

Raxx - A day in the life said...

My kids are seven and three, the boy is a brat (7) and the girl is an angel...................... slowly becoming a brat!

Maybe if i had the girl first........................

Xanax Side Effects said...

My name is Wendy Angus and i would like to show you my personal experience with Xanax.

I am 45 years old. Have been on Xanax for 2 years now. In working with a wonderful doctor and therapist, I have learned Meniere's Disease is an anxiety=provoked condition, and is the worst thing I have ever suffered in my life. To manage this, I take a low dose of Wellbutrin everyday and have a 1mg Rx for Xanax, which I am supposed to take 3x-a-day, but to be honest, I usually only take about 3-1mg a week, so only taking it when I honestly feel "too anxious". I also take Meclizine for the Meniere's attacks and those are only as needed as well. I feel the Xanax is better to have around than not, for my personal conditions. It took me a long time to balance out my meds, and taking too much xanax feels as horrible as the withdrawl can be, as I've experienced both. Now, after much time in getting to know what my body needs and how I am feeling (like with anxiety), and removing the 'stigma' of having to take a drug to manage my conditions is now over, taking just a few pills a week seems to work beautifully.

I have experienced some of these side effects -
It makes me very thirsty (dry mouth) but seems to work well in combination with other drugs for my conditions with no ill effects.

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Wendy Angus