Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Google This, Man.

This is my first GOOGLE post. I've seen it before on countless blogs....where bloggers post all the hilarious, bizarre and freaky search words that led people to their blogs.


Well, now it's MY turn.

I'm kind of sad because with my blog address change, Google has lost me.

I'm unsearchable.

I'm invisible.

I don't exsist if Google can't find me.

I don't know how long it's going to take to be found again. I submitted my blog to their search engine again with the new address, but who knows.

So, due to an absence of funny search word results, here are some words people have searched with in the past and ended up on my blog:


Why am I afraid of pool drains? Oh man, when you figure that out, let me know, because I am too.

Bubblegum in Latin Dude, Romans didn't have bubble gum, so there IS no word for it. AND, let me clue you in, no one speaks Latin anymore, except the Pope, and I don't know about you but I haven't spoken to him lately...

Really, really intellectual things to say Oh, dude, you are SO at the wrong spot. I mean, I'm smart but I don't go around talking intellectually.

Sticky balls leave marks No kidding. Ours was up on the ceiling for months until my husband took it down. I had someone tell me they had one on their ceiling for a year. I think ours would have been. And, yes, it left a mark.

Can seals feel love Let me show you this picture, and you tell me what you think...





I see mommy/baby love here. Enough said.


Texas word for house Ummm, I hate to break it to you, but we here in Texas, we mainly speak ENGLISH. So, the answer you're lookin' for is HOUSE. Now, sometimes we use the Spanish word CASA but that's Spanish, not Texan.



Frog does not drink up the pond Well, I'm not sure what to say. What's really scary is that this phrase has shown up more than once and in different variations over a long period of time. Is this some secret agent code or something?

Break out on butt OMG, I'm so sorry. No one should have to deal with that. That totally sucks. Not sure why this led to me though, because I've never posted about butt break outs at all.

Butt Facials Oh, yeah, I did do a post on this. hehe It was funny.


Souped up Johns Ok, guilty. I had this picture and a whole post about it:





Cow teats or cow udders I get a LOT of searches with these words. I mean, at least 40 or so. Not sure why everyone's interested in this. Yes, I milked cows growing up on a ranch...and I recently bought my husband a cow udder cup from Wisconsin when I was up there for a writing retreat. And, being the sweetie he is, he used it, a lot. BUT, it just broke. I'm so sad. It shattered but I saved a teat or two for the memories.




Last but not least, the most searched for phrase that brought people to my blog was:


Hot Blondes, Hot TX Blondes, blondes in short-shorts Bet this isn't exactly what they were looking for. hehe It was a post about me as a child:



51 comments:

Complaint Department Manager said...

Ha, you were found by people looking for porn, that's gotta suck...hey there's another search phrase.

All Things BD said...

Those are awesome.

I don't even know how to look that stuff up. Site meters, counters, searches. Nope, no clue. Guess I'll just have to assume that millions read me, but choose not to comment.

Rhea said...

Complaint Department Manager - Not many porn seeker in my search words (I think), but yes, the ones searching for hot blondes probably were. Boy did they totally not get what they were looking for.

All Things BD - Site Meter is free and it rocks. You pay a little and it gives you even more info that you thought you needed. It becomes an obsessive habit to know who's checking out your blog, how they found you, etc. Fun stuff.

Debbie said...

Oh Rhea...that is hilarious....oh my goodness....I love the last picture of you. It is so so cute! By they way, I just saw over at Sidney's blog that you live North of Dallas. My sister lives in Flower Mound and my nephew goes to Flower Mound High School. Lots of people from Dallas in my little blogger world!

Trailboss said...

That is possibly the funniest post I have read in a long time!

Thanks for visiting my blog.

Melody said...

Those are funny. I once got a search for "monkey fart hamburger". I have NO idea what that was about.

Thanks for your visit and your comment! I SO love Pioneer Woman.

Heather said...

Oh my stars, that's some FUNNY stuff!!

CrystalChick said...

LOL people are strange....

I have Sitemeter and that feed thingy but I don't always pay attention to it.
Most times people who stop don't leave comments so I guess my little corner of the blogosphere isn't that interesting. :((((
Maybe I will start throwing some porn on there???? Hey, I'd get more visitors anyway, right?? LOL
Or I'll just start posting recipes with sexy names...
like:
Hot and Horny Salsa
or
S & M relish

Insane Mama said...

I am ALWAYS surprised about what people search for AND what they find on my page instead.

Krystyn said...

Those are some good ones! I'm not even sure how to submit mine to google, or find out how google finds me....help a sista out!

Jennifer said...

wow!

that is really all i can say! wow!!

some people have more issues than i care to know about. I can't believe some of the things that people search google for. interesting. :)

i'm glad to know though, that there are a lot of ways for me to always find your blog. :)

of course best way for me, is just to go to my blog roll!! :)

have a good one!!
xoxoxo

Jennifer said...

oh and one more thing... ya'll don't speak Texan in Texas??

are people serious??? lol

that was a good one!!

xoxoxo

Sherri said...

How do you even find out what people are searching wiht? Some of that is creepy!!

Mama Dawg said...

I love it! My weirdest one was "Sausage meatballs gay". No clue where that came from!

Phil said...

I love that toilet! In fact swap it for a stool and I'd still take that set up!

Angie said...

I LOVE reading about these google searches. I'm going to have to upgrade my sitemeter account so I can get this cool info. As if I don't already spend enough time stalking my sitemeter account.

Rhea said...

Debbie - It's so fun to find online, people who live nearby. Very cool!! I'm new to this area, having lived in Austin most of my life. There are so many small towns and suburbs around DFW.

Trailboss - Thanks! I crack up reading what search words led people here. I hope Google finds me again soon. I miss being found by searches...Your dogs are adorable!

Melody - Moneky fart hamburger?! no way! That was ME! hehe Just kidding. What were they looking for (and how did they end up with you?). That's hilarious.

Heather - It is funny. And that was only a small snippet. There are some wild searches out there...and some of them I have no clue how they ended up with me!

Crystal Chick - I love checking in with Site Meter to see where people come from, are they spending time reading my site or just popping in and leaving without reading, where people are from, etc. Lots of people don't leave comments, I know. Same here.I love your sexy recipe names idea. That's awesome!

Insane Mama - I totally agree. It makes fun posts too. :o) I always love it when people share the search words that lead people to their blog.

Krystyn - To officially submit your blog to Google, you can go to www.google.com/addurl.html It's super easy. To find out who Googles you, you can go to www.sitemeter.com and get one of their free meters to put on your blog to track stuff like this. It's all free and pretty straight forward. :o)

Rhea said...

Jennifer - It's hilarious, isn't it? I love it. And yes, there are lots of ways to find my blog, I think. I Just hope Google hooks me back up again...I'm addicted to search word results. I'm keeping them in a notebook...

And, I think that Spanish might be spoken MORE than English in Texas now. I think I read that somewhere. Maybe.

Sherri - I use Site Meter but there are other free places to get this type of meter too.

Mama Dawg - Sausage meatballs gay? wow, that's unusual to say the least. hehe And they ended up at your site? Hmm...is there something you need to tell us about your meatballs?! hehe

Rhea said...

Phil - I like that souped-john also. I found that in my son's Kids National Geographic Magazine. Impressive, yes?!

Angie - I love it too. Addicted to it. That's why I was so sad when I realized my web address change took me off of Google for a while. I'm hoping I'll get more search word hits soon. I miss them!

Kat said...

I love all my stat counters. But I had never even considered paying for the service. What other information do you get?

And maybe Madalyn was the one looking for the Texan word for house. She wasn't sure we'd be able to understand Cindy when we visited...

Kat said...

And I had to leave another comment...cause Jennifer keeps leaving two...and is making strides toward my title. The one I am not giving up. Even though I am on vacation...

Word verification: brckxzk

sheesh...

Kat said...

Did I ever tell you about the porn searches on my site? Apparently there is a Katie Cokks. And in Atlanta. What I don't get is why the horndogs lookin' for her click on my "Katie Cooks" recipe post. Do they think that eclair cake or bean dip is a sexual act?

Verification this time: qprrzjh

It's just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Cristin said...

Hilarious!!!

The most interesting thing that was googled to get to my blog was
'raccoon poop'... it had to be something to do with poop right???

One Wired Woman said...

Hee Hee!! Funny!! You were a cutie pie!! ~Jill :)

Sidney said...

Too funny....I have found that the comments sections on everyones blogs are almost as funny as the actual posts that everyone is commenting on.

I need to check my statcounter...might be interesting!

Adorable little girl!

Sydney said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Yours looks really fun. I'll be back to check it out!

Complaint Department Manager said...

What's

Complaint Department Manager said...

with

Complaint Department Manager said...

all

Complaint Department Manager said...

the

Complaint Department Manager said...

token

Complaint Department Manager said...

posts

Complaint Department Manager said...

?

Complaint Department Manager said...

That's

Complaint Department Manager said...

cheating

Complaint Department Manager said...

!!!

Rhea said...

I was so excited I had a lot of comments on this post, and then I get on and find out Complaint Department Manager has lost his mind! lol Sheesh

What's going on here? Are you guys duking it out for "top commenter" spot? Because Kat's the queen there. She won't go down without a fight.

Rhea said...

Kat - I can't remember what other services I get when I pay...the word search is the best...and then you can set it to private, so other people can't see it...Katie Cokks?! On, no, that's just wrong. I agree.

Cristin - OMG, that makes total sense it was a poop search. hehe Racoon poop though? That's interesting.

Thanks for dropping by, One Wired Woman/Jill, Sidney and Sydney.

BTW, Sidney, I totally agree, the comments section can be just as great or EVEN better than the actual post. I totally agree!!

Perez Family Spot said...

Love the whole Texas house/casa deal!! In our house...it's both. Why do people think people from Texas are all ranchers/farmers? When I lived in California, people asked me "Texas" questions all the time. And I was like, "People!! We are HUMAN just like all ya'll!!" and that usually got them saying "ya'll" all day long.

John Deere Mom said...

Just imagine the poor b@stard searching for hot Texas blondes in short shorts and seeing the 1980 kiddo. Hehe.

CATHY said...

Hey Rhea,,,

Can you tell me why my commenter doesn't work?

Jen said...

I have seen these google post before. I am kinds confused? I don't know how it works. I will ask the computer god husband and he will explain. Very funny though and interesting too.

Lula! said...

Girl...
Hilarious. You so make me laugh!

And here I was feeling so proud for "orgasm," "sugar walls," and "vulva" being the Google searches that led people to Lulaville.

BritGal' Sarah said...

Hot TX Blondes - not usually that young though LOL!

├╝berburber said...

hee-hee- Complaint Department Manager is clever. But...if I want to complain about him, where do I go??? It's so philosophical. Almost as much as sticky balls leaving marks. LOL.

Angela said...

Ooo, those are good ones! I love "break out on butt" as if any medical journal or site with information pertaining to an a** rash would use the word "butt."

The seal pic was just what I needed today.

Valarie said...

People always find me by searching for Donnie Osmond. I mean at least once a week people are looking for him.

ann said...

Don't tell the 8th grade students who are required to take Latin - the Pope speaks German and Italian. I think they read the Latin. And Im a Latin teacher.

Jules said...

This is weird. I know I left a comment on here but it apparently disappeared. So my questions is... How in the world do you check on the google reader to find out how people found you?

Laura said...

I didn't even know you changed your address. I was wondering why you weren't posting anymore. I guess I missed the memo on changing your blog address. So sorry.

American in Norway said...

Funniest google link I have had was "my life as a Hooker" Ummm OK... I did say something about hooker boobs once.... but does that mean I have the life of Hooker?