Friday, July 4, 2008

The Friendly Cashier & 4th of July musings

Happy 4th of July everyone! Can you imagine what our country would be like if we still belonged to the British?



Our founding fathers were total badasses. (excuse my langauge but they totally were)



As you know (or maybe you don't) I'm doing a giveaway. My friend Carrie, the Gremlin Wrangler, is a creative gal who writes about her experiences as a cashier. The stories she tells, oh my gosh, they are hilarious!!



You can enter this giveaway by going HERE and leaving a comment with a grocery store story of your own.


I went to the grocery store today...and managed to cut my right thumb (the left thumb is already cut and in a bandaid still) in the refrigerated section. I'm just that good.


And, I just heard from someone today (possibly a family member) who took a header over a flat bed stocking cart in the grocery store resulting in black and blue legs AND a broken rib.


My conclusion from this is that either the grocery store is way too dangerous or the females in my family are clumsy. Definitely the former. Has to be.


Here's a little teaser from Letters From Your Friendly Cashier to wet your appetite:


To all the kind folks whose items ran together and caused me to ring up things belonging to the person behind the other person:


We have dividers for a reason.


To all the people who happened upon my line when my dividers were mysteriously missing:


Good job on separating and cooperating! You rock.


To the guy with the mysterious satchel draped around his shoulder:


Little did you now that when I heard you say I would run away if I saw what was in your satchel, that you were dealing with a friendly professional. And when you informed me that it was your pet boa constrictor, I didn't even flinch. I proved you and your friend wrong, when you brought out said snakey and I gave him a nice squeeze. I mean, she is a boa constrictor, and squeezing is their love language, right? I could tell you were impressed.


You need never doubt my skills ever again. Unless you carry your pet tarantula in that yellow satchel, in which case I will call the fuzz on you.


To think, we've probably been grocery shopping with hidden snakes in the store at some point in our lives. I'm freaked out by that thought.


HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!


15 comments:

Kat said...

Happy 4th. And I think that your experience at the store...and the "event" experienced by someone that "might" be in your family...proves a point. That you need to join me on the princess sidelines. It *is* much too dangerous to go to the grocery. Just ask my hubby. He'll tell ya it's too dangerous for me to go. (But he'll tell ya it's dangerous for our checking account. Whatever works I tell ya :-) )

Angie said...

My goodness, I'll take my grocery store trips any day over yours. :-) If I EVER come across snakes in my grocery store, that will be the LAST time I visit there. Satchel or not satchel. Happy 4th! Stay away from sharp objects.

Jeff B said...

Let's see if this will translate through the written word or not.

You have to pronounce each capitol letter independantly and the lower case words as a whole.

For some reason it flows better when spoken with a southern drawl.

M R snakes

M R not

O S A R

C M E D B D eyes

L I L B

M R snakes

Did it work? Your laughing if it did and wondering what the heck I'm talking about if it didn't.

BTW-good job on the "What is it" post today.

Complaint Department Manager said...

I has a former boss read this aloud:

IYAM SOFA KING WE TODD DID

I worked a lot of weekends after that.

Karen said...

I am so sorry about your thumbs!! That is totally unfair! Maybe you can get out of doing the dishes for the next week? I agree about our Founding Fathers and am so glad we are not still a part of Britian. Have a happy 4th.

Valarie said...

Girl I can not believe you cut the other thumb this time.

People seriously carry snakes around?? Ok that is just wrong :[

Kathryn and Ari said...

Hi, Rhea!
Happy 4th to you, too!

Hey, I wanted to tell you: I got an email from the mailroom manager at our school late yesterday. She said there's been a package waiting for me there for about a week. I bet it's my prize from the last contest you ran! I'm super bummed, because the campus is closed today and I'm leaving for a trip tomorrow. That means I'll have to wait ANOTHER week to open my fabulous gift. The suspense is killing me!!!

Rhea said...

Kat - I'm continuously impressed with your set up. I so wish I could get my hubby to do all the grocery shopping. He won't set a foot in the store if he can get away with it. I think I'm there every other day...at least. OH, there's a Starbucks inside my Tom Thumb and a $1 DVD rental machine.

Angie - I took my kids swimming today and then a storm moved in...I figured with my luck, we'd better get the heck out of the pool before lightning hit me. And, I agree with you, I'd better not see snakes at the store or I'm outta there.

Jeff - I love your "What is it" posts. They're a lot of fun...especially the esoteric stuff people come up with and their senses of humor. I'm determined to one day win that horse award for making you laugh. And, it took me a while, but I finally worked out your little letter puzzle. Funny, man.

Complaint Department Manager - Do I call you Bond? Or James? Our carpool number was 007 last year, and I loved it. Every day I whipped it out and pretended I was a super spy with class. And, I bet your boss didn't appreciate that phrase. hehe

Karen - I haven't gotten out of doing dishes unfortunately. Oh, well. It's healing nicely though, except I still bang it occasionally and it hurts like hell then. Thanks!

Valarie - I'm all thumbs lately. hehehe You can groan, I know, it's bad.

Kathryn - I'm glad the package is there. Sorry you have to wait longer to get it. I can't wait to see a picture of you, and maybe on of Ari too, in the hat! Annie looked great in hers.

Tranny Head said...

Though shopping with a snake doesn't bother me, I'm extremely traumatized by the thought of the other critters who may live int eh grocery store . . . *shudder*

Giggle! said...

hahahahaha oh dear! You have GOT to stop hurting yourself! :-) xx

Kat said...

Because I am always feeling this pressing need to fuel another addiction...I stopped at the Starbucks counter at Target yesterday. I got a sample of the chai tea. Just to see what all the fuss was about. I have no idea if I ordered it correctly. My mom even asked me to get her some kind of iced coffee. You should have seen the giggles from the Starbucks girls as I told them to make something up that she might like.

Anyway...my first sip of the tea...yuck. I was thinkin' you must be smokin' somethin' if you like that. But then, I took another. And another. Hmmm...why does it taste better after a few sips? Most suspicious...

Cristin said...

Hey! Careful with those thumbs... you kinda need those...

CrystalChick said...

It's too early in the morning for me to try and decipher Jeff's words. LOL
Yikes we have to grocery shop this week. I better go slowly. It was a rough weekend already.

Jennifer said...

hope you had a great 4th and a safe one too!! :) we had a busy weekend... sorry i wasn't around more.. but i'm catching up now. :)

i couldn't imagine a pet tarantula in the store... I can't even imagine someone having a tarantula as a pet at all...ugh!! if my kids brought one home, i would have to kill it... sorry for any animal activists or lovers out there, they freak me out... and i would probably die of fear if i didn't kill it first.

ugh!! i'm shuttering at the thought.

have a good one!! xoxoxo

Jules said...

Okay, makes me look at bags in a WHOLE different way! LOL